Thank you for calling. Unfortunately, I am unable to answer your call at this moment. Please, leave your name and a message and I shall reach out promptly.
I have you and Evangeline. Friendship isn't something I've been interested in pursuing. They don't end well. Not with me.
[Lycaon won't get to see it, considering this is over text... but that's immediately followed with Louis unconsciously tracing the deep scars gouged into his face.]
Well... I suppose I also have Rinku, though that is also a very recent development in an attempt to raise her morale. I don't fear the idea of betrayal from her, which is a first. Perhaps because I could fight her with ease, if it came to it? I don't know. Something about her makes me feel as if I have no reason to fear her, which in itself is somewhat scary.
Sorry, I'm rambling. Anyway.
Whatever you think would work best is alright with me.
There's a short pause, and suddenly the "goated is typing..." bubble pops up for a solid minute or so, before:]
No. I ought to be honest. Friendship terrifies me, and thus I do my best to reject it wholly. It's much easier to sort people by their uses, instead.
However, I recognize that is a cold way to approach the world. It has lead me to do awful things in the past to a lot of people. So I am trying to be better.
But this does mean I lack friends. I have you, and I have Evangeline.
For some, such a way to look at the world, can become a survival tactic. Betrayal and abandonment can lead to adopting a more pragmatic viewpoint of others.
Who is useful. For what. And who is not and a waste of resources.
I am glad you are working on altering that mindset here in Ellipsa. And I will assist in any way I can. And I am quite happy being your friend, one of two or one of many.
Also, I was referring to myself as well with the comment on betrayal and abandonment. Though the words do not capture the emotions, they are the closest thing I have.
It is not something to find joy in, true. Though there is a solace in it. Regretable as it may be.
I understand. As do you. And we both value trust above most other things, I am certain. Which is why our first conversation, trust was one of the centerpieces. I trust you. And you trust me.
[It's a good thing this isn't over text, because the breath he takes in, reading that, is pretty telling in how he feels about it. Deep, but sharp.]
I see. More we can relate between each other, I suppose. My own scars are the ones from my death. Aside from the one above my eye. That one, I've had since I was rather small.
The rest, however, yes. I imagine the only reason I still have an eye to fill that socket at all is due to my form being made from my subconscious. Had I a physical form, like you... I wouldn't have anything there at all, either.
Which is, of course, all just to say that I relate. Not to the level of pain you've gone through, but at the very least, I understand more than another might.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wolfishlycharming
(no subject)
They don't end well. Not with me.
[Lycaon won't get to see it, considering this is over text... but that's immediately followed with Louis unconsciously tracing the deep scars gouged into his face.]
Well...
I suppose I also have Rinku, though that is also a very recent development in an attempt to raise her morale.
I don't fear the idea of betrayal from her, which is a first.
Perhaps because I could fight her with ease, if it came to it? I don't know.
Something about her makes me feel as if I have no reason to fear her, which in itself is somewhat scary.
Sorry, I'm rambling.
Anyway.
Whatever you think would work best is alright with me.
(no subject)
(no subject)
[...
There's a short pause, and suddenly the "goated is typing..." bubble pops up for a solid minute or so, before:]
No. I ought to be honest.
Friendship terrifies me, and thus I do my best to reject it wholly. It's much easier to sort people by their uses, instead.
However, I recognize that is a cold way to approach the world. It has lead me to do awful things in the past to a lot of people.
So I am trying to be better.
But this does mean I lack friends. I have you, and I have Evangeline.
(no subject)
Who is useful. For what. And who is not and a waste of resources.
I am glad you are working on altering that mindset here in Ellipsa. And I will assist in any way I can. And I am quite happy being your friend, one of two or one of many.
(no subject)
With you, though, I know that I'll be able to do better eventually. Someday.
Thank you.
(no subject)
Also, I was referring to myself as well with the comment on betrayal and abandonment. Though the words do not capture the emotions, they are the closest thing I have.
(no subject)
You've been hurt deeply then, as well?
I can't say I'm happy that we have that in common. But at least it's something we share.
(no subject)
I understand. As do you. And we both value trust above most other things, I am certain. Which is why our first conversation, trust was one of the centerpieces. I trust you. And you trust me.
(no subject)
But, this has me wondering, and please forgive my curiosity if asking this offends. But beneath your mask, do you happen to have a scar?
Like my own?
It's alright if you would rather not answer.
(no subject)
That was when I was betrayed.
(no subject)
Deep, but sharp.]
I see. More we can relate between each other, I suppose.
My own scars are the ones from my death. Aside from the one above my eye. That one, I've had since I was rather small.
The rest, however, yes. I imagine the only reason I still have an eye to fill that socket at all is due to my form being made from my subconscious.
Had I a physical form, like you... I wouldn't have anything there at all, either.
Which is, of course, all just to say that I relate. Not to the level of pain you've gone through, but at the very least, I understand more than another might.
(no subject)
I appreciate your understanding and knowing that, with our painful pasts, we have found one another in this world.